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You know what? I don't really care. Only I do, more than anything in the world ( 08 May 2004 - 11:30 p.m. ) One of those days were nothing happens, except Gem cleared out some boxes and I sat with her while she did. I love that, when people clear all the stuff out that they kept because, one day, it may be useful. There's always stories and reasons why, and it passed some time quite pleasantly. I should have gone to Nexus with Rona and Chrissie. It would have been fun, I'm sure of it now, and I would have felt less lonely than I have done this week. But I feel very tired, so I didn't want to go to crowded places, and so I made my excuses and didn't go. Which only Chrissie will really understand, but that's OK. I do regret not going, like I generally regret the way I'm rather withdrawing into myself lately. I've become kind of apathetic, I'm lonely, but I'm not doing anything about it, not doing anything to alleviate the feeling which I know very well will dissapate when I spend time with people. But I don't and I'm always feeling kind of fuzzy-headed, like although the loneliness really matters, it eats me up completely, at the same time it doesn't really matter at all. I'm kind of feeling everything and distanced from it, at the same time. All of which is somewhat confusing. I'm not really sure what is going on, or how, or if, I'm going to solve or change it. Maybe I should just go to sleep, and it'll be better in the morning. Because sometimes it is. | |||||||||