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The waves wash over me ( 21 April 2004 - 9:31 p.m. ) A squirrel darted from under the car. You never see squirrels in this part of town. They live further up, in the trees round the common. But this one skittered into the middle of the road, and stood there, sniffing the air, more alert than I could ever hope to be. Then just as fast it darted under another car and dissapeared. I wonder where it lives. It rained alot, very fine rain that makes you wet, without ever getting hard enought to be noticeable. We trudged around finding houses to live in. We haven't found one yet. And this evening, I had one of the most beatiful conversations ever, with Christina. She completely understands why I love the sea so much, because she loves it just the same. And I loved it because she thought it normal that I like to stand on the edge of cliffs, and watch the waves crashing on the rocks, and feeling the power, the living spirit in the sea. Because I can really feel the sea is alive, and standing there, in that moment, I feel it can save me, can help me fly. And I am overwhelmed by the urge to jump, because I want to fly with the waves, and I can do it, it will be OK. Something always pull me back, but one day, i think, it will not. I will jump and be gone. "and there is a moment... just before the wave takes you, before it breaks and makes the noise, and carries you away, just a split second when everything is quiet, and you can feel the power behind it" | |||||||||