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It's all, really, very good ( 17 April 2004 - 10:09 p.m. ) Much of the day was spent not working. Trying to work, but instead continuing the construction of an elaborate pirate-ship fantasy with Cat, Rona, Chrissie and Aimee on msn. It kind of started with Rona buying a real pirate dagger, and went from there. At about 4pm, me, Cat, Rona and Dave randomly decided to drive to the Moors Valley country park. Which would have been great if the sun had stayed out, but instead it decided to shy away behind the clouds, and so it got cold. It was still fun though, and there were many squirrels to watch. I do like to watch squirrels; the skitter so much, all there movements are fast and jerky. And they watch you intently. I had a good ten-minute staring contest with a squirrel today. And they hardly blink, so I lost. And the thing with Cat came to a conclusion: we are not going to be any more than very good friends, and we never will be. We both agree it would never work, it would be too strange, and there really isn't any kind of sexual spark between us. We were both constructing something that we thought should happen, when in reality it should not. Looking at it now, i think we came very close to ruining our friendship: had we tried out being together, it certainly would not have worked, and it is unlikely our friendship would have fully recovered from it. So I'm still happy. I'm still out in the sunlight. I have yet to return to the awkward darkness, and I doubt I ever will. To the opium den and the barroom gin In the Belmont chair playing violins The gamblers face cracks into a grin As he lays down the king of spades But the dealer just stares - there's something wrong here he thinks The gambler is seized and forced to his knees and shot dead He only wanted more time away from the darkest door But his luck it gave in as the dawn light crept in And he lay on the floor. | |||||||||