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More Cat, cos she's all that happens to me now ( 14 April 2004 - 6:01 p.m. ) I was kind of pretending I had it sorted, that it was, ok, we would wait. And now I don't know. I've seen her alot this week, and I don't if it's cos we didn't see each other much the week before, but it's all gone very intense now. I feel very different to how I felt when I talked to her about this. I just feel so overwhelmingly much for her. I want to touch her, to hold her all the time. There's a kind of extreme tenderness, that every time I look at her she makes me smile. I just want to get closer and closer, and I don't know that she'll let me, I don't know that she's ready, maybe she never will be. I've never felt like this before about anyone ever. It's so much more than what has been previously. And I'm scared, so scared of my own feelings. They are way, way too intense for me to deal with. So that I nearly told her, then saved myself, telling her that I needed more time to make sure. Which is what I have to do, I have to know. Though maybe I never will, and I'll just have to assume that the vastness of these feeling means they are right, that this is what I really want. | |||||||||