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The blood runs freely, and covers the sheets ( 21 March 2004 - 4:14 p.m. ) I'm back where I started, now. The frustration has been there for days, but last night I was drunk enough to act it out. No thoughts, just grab te knife and slice, slice, slice. About fifteen times. I told Cat and gem and posted here. Gem cleaned me up and put plasters on the worst ones. And Cat came over and hugged me for hours. And thankyou Leah for talking, and the lovely, lovely picture. The smell of Dettol will forever be linked in my mind with Gem being motherly and cleaning the damage I have done to myself, and Cat trying hard to hug me as much as I need, although I need too much. Caress the needle prick in my skin, The tears fell like rain. I rode the phoenix as she flies And I I've gone insane. I've seen the light of suicide And I'm dying. Hold on, I'm falling Can't breathe anymore As an ocean has opened These scars need to heal over Colder and colder Just hold on to me. | |||||||||