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Need the pain ( 19 March 2004 - 5:00 p.m. ) I calmed down a bit after the last entry, I did all the things, and felt nice. And then it all went wrong, I got so angry again about where my life is going, and what's happening in it, and I got tenser and tenser and the headache and pains got worse. At one point I was seriously contemplating cutting to release the tension enough so that I might go to sleep. But I did manage to fall unconcious eventually. And woke up in a foul mood, and walked in listening to One Minute Silence, to perpetuate the growling anger. I felt better after a while though, and relaxed a bit, looking forward to going out tonight and having fun. But one by one, everyone decided they didn't want to go out, and I've got annoyed again, and I want, I need to cut. I very nearly did a minute ago. I think I will in a minute, cos I can't see there being anything to stop me. Unless something makes me smile. {I want to try your steps again, but I'm too tense to even start. I'm sorry.} | |||||||||