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What are you thinking? ( 12 March 2004 - 9:59 p.m. ) It's all milky and faded, everything's a bit washed out. But today's been better, although I'm still a little frantic. It's easier when you stop trying. There was a girl sitting in front of me today, she's often there. And she's so very beautiful, because she is so very interesting. And maybe the other way round, too. She's very thin, and extremely pale, she looks so fragile. Even the spikes in her ears, and the lip piercing don't do anything to lessen the sense that she might fade away at any moment, might break. Rather they add to it, so that when I look at her I want to take her home and wrap her up, warm and safe. But I can't think of anything to say to her, and if I could, I don't think I would actually be able to speak. Even though I so very badly do want to talk to her, to find out what happens in her head. But that's my problem with girls, I go too deep before it even starts. So it can't work, because I've already placed too much into it. And our eyes connected today, but I couldn't even smile, because she's too beautiful and I'm too scared. So I had to look away. Which I now regret so much. And I'm ill which doesn't help, because I feel to weak and tired to do much except sit and think. I dream, at night Of going home someday Somewhere, so far away. So dream, alright I know it's gonna take some time I'm going home, someday. | |||||||||