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No ( 07 March 2004 - 3:18 p.m. ) I've lost the plot, the point. I haven't done anything for weeks. I just sit and think and think, but nothing will get solved, nothing goes away. So how will I ever get anything done again? I've never been quite like this before, with such an overwhelming lack of motivation to do anything. I don't know if there's a way out of it, and the thing is, I don't care enough to find out. But I have to do SOMETHING. I have to begin sorting SOMETHING out. Or I'll be in circles forever and ever. But the circles have no open bits, so where do I start? I need strength to break them, and I have none left. I'm too exhausted to begin sorting myself out, to tired to do anyhting but let my head run away with itself, until I'm so deep in my thoughts that I'm not sure if I'm actually awake, cos I can't tell the dreams from the real. And the people I previously talked to about this I no longer can, but I don't know why, what's changed, what the FUCK has happened here. I feel like I'm about to pass out all the time, I keep having to close my eyes to stop everything ruining me, but when I do I slip into somewhere else and I don't want to come back, but I should, but each time it's harder and harder. And I have no idea what to do, at all, ever. What's happening, what's going to happen, where am I, what am I doing here? | |||||||||